MUGGY McMUGGINS

Doodling with a brush pen, and letting it be the boss. I wouldn't normally draw hair like this but that's what seemed to come out of the pen so I let it happen. This was done years ago with a really fat brush pen. I can't find those pens anymore and I liked them a lot. With light pressure I could get very thin lines, but it also had the ability to do extra fat lines as well. Now the only brush pens I can find are thin. My friend Brad keeps suggesting I try the real thing. I think I will when all the ink runs out of the pens I'm currently using.

BABA SIMBO

A while back my friend Vinny said he had a name for a super-hero but didn't have any plans as to what he'd look like or what his powers were. When I heard the name I got this mental image of him: a tumbling wrestler-type of guy with mysterious mental powers.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

Sometimes my friend Bob and I go to Sci-Fi/Horror conventions. They usually have lots of old movies on DVD you can't get in the stores. Also they have lots of famous people you can talk to. I was looking through pictures and I noticed something I thought was funny.

Here I am with the very lovely movie star Adrienne Barbeau. Look at my face. Who died?

And now here I am with the unconventionally good-looking Michael Berryman. I'm almost embarrassed of my gleefully giddy and joyous expression.

These 2 pictures tell me something about myself.

INCHWORM CRANK TOY

As the crank is turned, a lovesick boy inchworm chases a frightened pretty girl inchworm around in circles. It took me several months to figure out how to make it work. I have pages of notes and ideas involving all sorts of methods. Each time I'd think I had it all figured out, I'd realize some aspect of it would only work in a world of cartoon physics, or if we had a such thing as the 4th dimension so 2 things could occupy the same space.

I looked through lots of books about gears and mechanical movements, and I learned about the Geneva Wheel. That's the secret to everything! I guess it was invented by Swiss clock makers to have intermittent movements instead of a constant and steady motion mocking the movement of the crank.

A Geneva Wheel consists of 2 wheels actually. One has notches in it, and the other has a pin to fit into the notches. As the PIN wheel turns it slides into a notch in the notched wheel. It turns just enough to align the next notch up into the path of the pin, so as it comes back around it repeats all over. You can put as many notches in as you wish... as long as you get them in the right place.

Here's a picture of the various pieces before I put it all together. Depending on the task of the piece, some needed to be plywood for strength. Normally I don't like the look of plywood but when there's danger of fragile parts crumbling there's nothing better wood-wise.

Here's a side view of the inner workings of it all. After I got this thing built, almost immediately after I glued in the last piece, I thought of a way to make the box half as tall. The more streamlined I can get it, the better. I guess my next one will be better. I've also thought of a way to not have that big circular opening in the top of the box.

ACTION!

PUKEY PALS ADVERTISEMENT

Here's an advertisement I worked up.
ENLARGE IMAGE

If you want a set, send me a message! My email is in the image above. OR here's another easy way to snag a set.

Also, per request, here is a size comparison next to a wiener dog.

WILDMAN OF WOOKAWOO

I was going for a paper sculpture look with this drawing. These kinds of illustrations are pretty fun to make. They require no shading or outlines, and all the shapes are made with lines and circles. After it was finished I added a drop shadow. THIS guy was made in the same fashion.

PUKEY PALS CARDS ARE COMING

Today the Pukey Pals cards files were taken to the print shop. If everything goes as planned I should be in business in a day or two. I printed 20 sets to cover my pre-order customers and some extra, and I can have new sets printed as they are ordered. If you are an awesomely cool person and you want everyone to know it, message me here on my blog or you can email me at keithwseifert dot com.

I saw some mockups today and they looked sharp and colorful. Even the fake dirt looks nice and pretty! Both sides of the cardstock are coated so they're shiny on front and back.

You can see all the cards below in this blog, but you don't get to see the back poster puzzle image! That's my special gift to those who are choking up the moola! I think the secret back image will make your life more happy. If there are any meaning-of-life mysteries you've been curious about, all will be answered when the secret image is revealled to you.

Valentine's Day!

Mother's Day!

Wedding Anniversary!

Pukey Pals cards would make wonderful gifts! Imagine the look of joyous love your mother would get on her face if she opened her very own set of these cards! She would forget all her other kids and you will become her favorite!

(Artificial simulation of what a set of Pukey Pals cards might look like sitting on your shelf)


The price ends up being $12 a set. CHEAP!

DO IT!! DO IT!! DO IT!!

Even though you don't need a reason, here's a subliminal message to make you want to own these cards:

Bnh - Bnh - Bnh

hon CVu uof HGrb honLZGrt
hOn HvAG uo m!ll ot honL omu

(If you aren't naturally dyslexic or strabismic you can use an upside down mirror to reveal this message. Hold a mirror tilted face down, OVER the red letters, and look up into mirror at the them . . . AND THEN OBEY!)

SLOPPY FRANKENDOODLE

I'm not likely to ever get a tattoo because I can't think of a single image I'd never get tired of seeing. I can think of lots of images I'd enjoy for a month or so, maybe even a year, but after that I'd be ready for it to be gone.
This is probably the only image that would never get old to me.

If I needed a tattoo in order to keep my job or something like that, I guess a 1 foot tall Frankenstein monster head would look good on my belly. I'm only thinking about this because the guys at work are all talking about tattoos they want to get.

One guy asked me to draw a snake tattoo for him. His wife's name is Sandy, and he wanted the snake to be saying "SSSSSSSSSANDY."

Sandy probably felt really honored at having a snake hiss out her name. I asked what he'd ever do if Sandy divorced him and without even a second's hesitation he said he'd have it changed to "SSSSSSSSSANDY IS A SSSSSSSSNAKE."

It impressed me he had it so planned out.

FLIPPITY-FLAPPITY FLOO

Another brush pen drawing which has no meaning or purpose for existing other than it was fun to do. I like his gums.

HEAD-CHOPPER CRANK TOY IDEA

I have an idea for a wooden crank toy. It will consist of a knife-weilding head-hunter standing over a victim who is lying on the ground. It would all be carved from wood and be roughly 7" tall.

With the turn of a crank, the head-hunter will draw his knife-arm back and then give it a good whack into the neck of his victim. After that the head-hunter's other hand will raise the victim's head up off his neck and lower it back down. This action will repeat as many times as the crank is turned. Great toy for kids!

This is the process I go through before I build anything. I don't start cutting pieces of wood until I'm fairly certain it will work and be worth the time. If you look at the drawings in order you can see the evolution of the idea. I think it's actually doable in the last drawing.

I'm happiest with this version because it's the simplest. The more moving gizmos you get away from, the better off you'll be. Each new gear and cog and axle is one more thing to give you fits. I needed one horizontal rotating motion for the knife arm, and one vertical motion for the lifting arm. This version of the idea does both motions with only 3 doohickies: A crank-powered axle, a triangle cam, and an off-center cam.

FOR THE KNIFE ARM:
2 pins on the main axle will knock a triangular cam back and forth.

FOR THE LIFTING ARM:
An off-center cam will raise and lower a little wheel attached to the head-hunter's elbow.

I am angry at how simple the answer turned out to be. It may not look like that big of a deal, but it took me days and hours to figure it out. Next time I need those movements though, I'll be ready.

If you are interested in this kind of stuff, you ought to get a book called 507 MECHANICAL MOVEMENTS by Henry T. Brown.

Here's an online copy of the book, so if you're a cheapskate you don't even have to buy it!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/441240/Five-hundred-and-seven-mechanical-movements

Any motion you need, this book will show you how to make it happen.

SOURPUSS

More brush pen. It's fun to start a drawing with no plan and see what comes out. The nice thing about monster faces is they don't need to be symmetrical or sensible.

BLUBBER MUZZLE

Brush pen! The harder you push, the fatter the line gets. They're expensive though. I think I paid $3 or $4 dollars for the last one. If I have big areas of black, I will fill those in with a cheap chisel-tip Sharpie to conserve my expensive brush pen.

Also I found out it's a good idea to store your brush pens brush-tip-down so the ink stays down toward the brush. Otherwise the brush tip will dry out and there will still be ink up in the top of it where it doesn't do you any good.

THE HEADLESS IRON HORSEMAN

I was doodling a guy on a motorcycle and got too close to the edge of the paper, and realized I didn't have enough room for his head. After saying "DANGIT!" it occurred to me he didn't really need a head after all.

SICKLY ALIEN and RUSSELL

I was thinking about doing a painting of a farmer nursing an alien back to health, with a crashed UFO outside the window. This is a reference photo I took. The farmer is portrayed by my friend Russell.

I've known Russell since high school. I remember when I would ride in his little Dodge Omni, I had to get in the back because his passenger side seat was being used as to hold a 10-gallon bucket of tobacco spit. It was at least 6" deep with brown sludgy spit, and every time he hit a bump it would slosh around. He had it seat-belted in like a precious baby. While he drove, he would periodically lean over and spit into the bucket. I was always kind of worried we would have some huge wreck and it would splash all over. My plan was to hide behind his chair if I had to duck, but I don't guess it would have helped much.

BRAINS...

Here in my city, people eat brains. That's not a joke. Even my grandmother used to eat brains. It's apparently only happening in my city. I figured it was nation-wide, but I'm finding out my city it just weird. If you are reading this and your city eats brains too, let me know. Otherwise I will just figure you don't eat them.
This is an actual photo taken at the annual Fall Festival here in my city of Evansville, Indiana.

DACHSHUND WITH A HUMAN BRAIN

Meet Lucy. She was born in 1997. When I 1st got her, I could fit her into my shirt pocket and bring her to work with me. I've learned a lot about dog brains since I've had her. Besides being good loyal buddies when you are lonely, they are also really smart. When you have an indoor dog, you naturally talk to it all day long as if it were a human. I didn't realize it at 1st but she was listening to me and understanding my words.

Sometimes I didn't intend on teaching her a word and she just picked it up. Other words I deliberately taught her. It seems like Lucy will learn a word over the course of 4 or 5 days, if I say it repeatedly.

Some people say dogs don't know what words you are speaking, they only recognize the inflection or tone. I don't think that's true. I can say the same word any variety of ways and she will still respond to it.

The way I teach her is fairly simple. When she gets it right I praise her and load her up with dog treats. The 1st couple times I will move her myself so she knows what I'm wanting. After about maybe 10 times, she'll begin doing it herself.


This was a word she picked up herself. When I would let her outside, she would get in front of me so I couldn't open the door. I'd say "back" and motion her away with my foot. After a while she knew what "back" meant, and could walk backwards by herself.


She knows what "eat" means. I guess most dogs know that.


When I would watch tv, she'd lie down beside me. In the Summer, her warm body would make my leg hot, so I'd say "other side" and move her myself. She picked up that phrase and started doing it herself.


I think most dogs know "get in your bed." I just like it how she uses her feet and nose to open the door.


This isn't really a trick she learned. I just thought it was funny.


I taught her this trick intentionally. When she was a puppy, any time there was a bump or a strange noise I would act scared and say "Security!" She learned it but then once she started barking she wouldn't stop. Later I taught her "Safe!" I acted calm and relaxed so she would do the same.



I taught her "Shake my hand" and Mei taught her "Other hand." Once you get Lucy going she continues it on her own. I guess she figures it will result in Beggin' Strips.


This is my favorite. If you act like you shoot her with a gun, she will drop over and play dead. First Mei shoots her and then I do. Girls can't make a gun shot sounds! Mei goes "peeyaa!"


Teaching tools.

THE NAZI WHO COULDN'T COUNT

STACKED MEAT

My wife Mei is always trying to get me to try new kinds of meats like sea-cucumbers and snails. As far as I'm concerned the only meats worth eating are chicken, pork, and beef. Why anyone wants to eat the exotic stuff like alligator or frog is beyond me.

Here's a drawing of the 3 most delicious meats in the world.

PUKEY PALS UPDATE

A standard trading card is 2 1/2" X 3 1/2". The cards I made weren't standard size and I worried that might be a problem for printing, so I spent 2 nights resizing them. I know that's something I should have looked into before I started, but I didn't really intend on doing more than 1 or 2 in the beginning. Resizing wasn't too terribly difficult since the backgrounds were just single-tone colors. The new taller format made some of the images slightly less compatible in the alloted space, while it made others fit better. All in all, it helped more than hurt.

I won't post the back side poster image. That way the people who decide to order their own sets will have something new to be surprised about. (Even though just owning a set - surprise or not - would be reward enough!) Why, I think having one's very own set would be like experiencing 5 birthday parties all at the same time! Yes, I can not imagine a more wonderful thing. Oh, to be coveted and envied like that. WOW!

I was also thinking I should cut the leather tongues out of my old shoes and include them in the sets to represent the horrible cardboardy gum included in the old trading card wax packs. I don't know what they made that "gum" out of, but it's not made of Earthy materials, that's for sure!

At a fleamarket I bought an old wax pack called Odd Rods from the 70s and it still had the gum in it. When I opened it, I was not surprised to find the stick of "gum" in it's original state, shape-wise and color-wise. I bet it even tasted the same. Even though it was 30 years old, It looked like it was new off the grocery store shelf.

I'm teasing about including shoe tongues. (Unless someone really wants it! I can see how that would be very tempting.)

WOODEN LOCKBLADE KNIFE

This was made from maple and walnut. The locking mechanism really works. It's a handy letter opener. The spring is a strip of wood flexed to keep the button arm tight against the blade. Oak is a very good wood for the spring. Other woods seem to eventually take the shape they are flexed into, and then the knife blade will not snap into position as tightly.

PAIN(T)

I need to start using an easel. Sometimes after I've been drawing or painting for any length of time, my neck will cramp up and not stop hurting for a month or more. It's not an exaggeration to say it feels like someone hit me in the center of the neck bone with a hammer. I've been making a conscious effort not to crane my neck over my work like a vulture, but I forget over and over. It's the kind of thing that just slowly occurs without my knowlege.

Those are 44 cent Apple Barrel paints from Walmart.

An easel helps the neck, but not the arms. When I hold my arms out with no support under my elbow, after a while my hand will get shaky. You may say, "Keith, that means you need to lift weights and strengthen your arm muscles."

I say it's because my arm muscles are just so massively huge and bulky and weighty, so it's a lot of work for me to lift them. It's logic!

A lady at work puts a tennis ball on the end of a 3 ft. stick, and uses that as a support to rest her elbow on when she paints. The tennis ball is there so the end of the stick won't scratch the painting. She just holds the stick in her other hand and locks it against her body.