MELBA SNARCH'S SISTER comic strip #1

TUNA T-SHIRT DESIGN

This is one of those ideas that seem really good and made perfect sense at 3:00 o'clock in the morning, but then later in the awakened state, I wondered what I was thinking. Does it make sense to anyone else? I think maybe I get it.

As a side note, I originally went with the front half of the tuna but it was too sad to see its face. This way was less human and more friendly and food-like.

BATCAVE PLAQUE

Here's an easy project you can make in a day. A BATCAVE plaque! Woohoo! It looks good hanging in a work shop or den, or under the carport or out in the garage, or in the living room (if you're spouse allows it.)


First I folded a piece of paper in half and drew and cut out half-a-bat. The clunkier you make it the more Sixties-y it will look. I unfolded and traced the bat onto a scrap piece of wood, and cut it out on a band saw.


I sanded the edges a little bit and sprayed it with gloss black enamel paint.


Then I cut out a lettering mask with an Exacto blade. I had to make little triangles with masking tape for holes in the "A" and "B" letters. I was going to paint the letters white but I was out of white spray paint so I used silver. I think silver made it more snazzy, like something on the tv show.

I used a regular sheet of paper since it was easy to cut. Since it was paper and it was flimsy there was some over-spray(under-spray?) under the edges of the letter openings. After I sprayed it the paint absorbed into the paper and curled it so paint was able to get in where it wasn't supposed to. When you paint it you need to be quick. As an alternative you could use something a bit thicker, like a donut box lid, or you could take the time to make little inside-out rolls of tape to hold the mask down to the wood. I was in too big of a hurry and did it the sloppy way. I kind of liked the over-sprayed look though. It seemed industrial.

The thickness isn't really important. This one measures 5/8" thick. Now all it needs is a hook on the back to hang it.


The requirements for this project are:

A piece of wood
Black enamel spray paint
White (or Silver or Yellow) enamel spray paint
A couple pieces of paper for cutting out the bat shape, and the lettering mask
Masking tape
Scissors
A pencil
a band saw
Sand paper
A hook to hang it
A desire to be awesome

SINISTER WINSTON'S PRANK TIME #1

This is the 1st episode of Sinister Winston's Prank Time educational series. If it's successful and brings joy and happiness maybe there will be more in the future.
Do you know anyone with a Mercury Grand Marquis? You do? Oh good!
Take a look at the back of the car. There should be a "Grand Marquis" name plate on the left side. This prank works for models of any year. Here's an older logo name plate as an example.
All you need to do it make one quick whack with a chisel, right between the "a" and the "r."

Now pop off that last part. Nifty, huh? "Grand Ma" isn't exactly an insult word, but it's certainly not one of the cooler things you could have mounted on the back of your car. If you were a teenage guy trying to impress the ladies it could possibly wreck your plans. If you were trying to be cool in your Grand Marquis wearing your sunglasses, people might think they were for your glaucoma. If you were male then people would just think you were an extra ugly grandma.

The last step of this prank, and the most important: Skeedaddle! Once you've done your secret operation and you've sufficiently admired your work, get out of there! You don't wanna have to pay for THAT!

This prank works all newer models too:
Tada!
Some name plate locations are sneakier, but that's no problem.
It still works just the same.
WHACK!
There, now wasn't that fun? And cheap too! You don't have to spend a lot of money to enjoy your life. Maybe some time in the future when Winston has time, he'll show you how to turn a Ford Focus into a Ford Feces.
(This is all for educational use only. Don't do what Winston does. That could be like a catch phrase, or one of those rubber bracelets with initials: DDWWD.)

HILLBILLY SKETCH

Alongside monkeys and Frankenstein, hillbillies are one of my favorite things (even though I don't draw them that often.) I like the easy-going world they live in. Li'l Abner, the Beverly Hillbillies and those Foxfire books are all I have to go on, but it seems like the hillbilly life would be the greatest thing ever.

You wouldn't need to do anything but sit on your porch on the front of your shack perched on the edge of a cliff, and shoot guns, play music and nap. Occasionally you'd bathe "whether you needed it or not" in a tin tub out in the front yard.

If you didn't like your neighbors, you'd shoot at them. It's just plain simple logic. Bullets never kill people when you're a hillbilly; they only burn your butt a little. No big deal! Every once in a while you might need to fight off a pack of wolves, or fight off Bigfoot or a bear, but the benefits far outweigh the bad stuff. You can steal pies out of window sills and eat till you're fat, and no one would care since nobody else is beautiful either. That is, except for the women. They all look like Daisy Mae and Ellie May.

If you know how to read and write you could probably become mayor. If you know how to count you could be the richest feller in the county. All the old women would have super strength, so you'd never actually have to do any backbreaking work yourself. You just sit and play your homemade banjo while your woman plowed the turnip patch.

The hillbilly above came from this doodle. I didn't like the other 2 guys that much so I didn't color them.

SINISTER WINSTON #4

You might have to study this one a bit to make sense out of it. Colors would probably help.

See some earlier ones by clicking HERE.

THE ZEPHYR (He who walks the winds) COMIC

Move over all you other heroes! A new hero is in town! As the cover promises, all 22 pages:

STRANGE GIRL WEIGHT-LIFTER

This is one of the weirder Youtube videos I've seen. It's one that sticks in my mind days after I've seen it. Now I'm posting it here because I like thinking I'm not the only one had to see it. It's old but I suspect not everyone in the world has seen it yet.

This girl makes the weirdest mouth noises while trying to lift her weights, and strains so hard she pees on the floor. Then she smears it with her shoe to hide the evidence even though she did it on camera. There's something about the way she nonchalantly smears it which makes me think it happens to her a lot, and it's no big deal. I think if she's straining THAT hard she's probably tearing something up on the inside.

PENCIL DRAWINGS AGAIN?!

Here are some pencil drawings from about a decade ago. It doesn't seem that long ago, but that's enough time I could have had a kid and it would be old enough to smart-mouth me by now.

What if the kid was like me when I was 10? Yikes. This very moment I could be saying things like, "That dadblasted kid! I oughta slap it!"

That kid would be saying things like, "I didn't ask to be born!"

I'd have to take that kid's allowance away and send him out to do yard work on Saturday morning during cartoons.

OLD DRAWINGS FROM BACK IN THE DAY

I went to high school with Matt Hawes and he and I used to work on comic projects together. Now he owns a comic shop here in town, and he does a weekly public access tv show called The Happy Show. He sent me these drawings the other day. I have no memory of working on most of them. I do remember a couple, but some of them... if someone said I had anything to do with them I'd think they were mistaken. I have absolutely zero recollection.

Almost all were penciled by me and inked by Matt. The very last one was penciled by Matt and inked by me. I feel like his inks made my pencils look a lot better than they were supposed to look.

This is the only one I inked: