Saturday, April 23, 2011

HORRIFYING FACE (and corpse story)

This is Franklin Pangborn. He was famous performer from back in the day. I've never heard of him until now. This photo is very disturbing to me. It's difficult to explain why it creeps me out so badly. I'm wondering if it's because the guy is all gussied like a corpse in a coffin.

If I stare at the eyes long enough they look like they twitch. At the small size it doesn't bother me as bad. Click and enlarge the image for the real horror. Stare at it for at least 30 seconds. Does it seem creepy to anyone else?

This reminds me of something that happened to me as a child. My mom brought me to a funeral home to visit an old lady who had just became a widow. We walked right up to the coffin and stood there next to the dead guy. As my mom talked to the widow, I stared intently at the dead guy. If you stare at something long enough it seem to move. Of course it was all in my head but for the life of me I honestly thought it was really breathing. I swear and cross my heart I saw what looked like the dead guy taking a deep breath. I screamed out, "He's breathing!!" and my mom slapped me down and told me to be quiet.

As I stared more intently at the chest and stomach of the dead body, it looked like it would periodically do it again and again. I thought the dead guy was trying to trick us and I was the only one who knew his secret. I figured my mom didn't hear what I said the first time because she didn't get upset about the trickery, so I yelled it again.

"HE'S BREATHING! HE'S BREATHING! HE'S TRYING TO TRICK US! HE'S NOT DEAD!"

When I said it louder the widow became excited and looked into the coffin at the body. I got promptly smacked and told to shut up by my mother. This was extremely frustrating. I felt like no one was doing anything about this deceit! Why was this faker trying to trick his wife into thinking he was dead? I figured everyone would be happy about my discovery, but they weren't. I got lots of glares and stares. I remember thinking, "What is wrong with these people?! Do they not want him to be alive?"

7 comments:

  1. Man, I loved that story."I figured everyone would be happy about my discovery, but they weren't." Oh my God, that just slays me. Your poor mom must have been mortified. I felt like no one was doing anything about this deceit!" What a visual picture. Did the sound of your mom's smacks ring all over the funeral parlor?

    But about Pangborn, I think if you had ever seen him act, you wouldn't be frightened. He had this supercilious style that just screamed silly and fun.

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  2. This guy was Pee-Wee Herman's illegitimate Father, from the dark side of the corpse. Alot of things from this period are creepy~ because~ it was before porn came along to mellow out the maniacs !!

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  3. Franklin Pangborn was in a lot of old comedies. I am sure you have saw him before, Keith, and not even realized it. If you see him in a movie after this, you'll probably slap your head and say, "Oh! THAT guy..." Here's a helpful link to that effect:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVhd_WcHmqY

    He is that guy with the mustache instructing Gloria Jean on how to sing in a clip from the great, awesome W.C. Fields film, "Never Give A Sucker An Even Break."

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  4. Lysdexicuss, porno has been around as long as film (even longer in literature). Um, not that I have seen any... er... just sayin', and all that. ;-)

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  5. Anyone photographed in black and white over 70 years ago adds a 39% creepiness factor to begin with, that's just a scientific fact (look it up). Throw googilly eyes into the mix and it raises creepiness by 23%...creepy toothy grin - 17%...dressed like a pall-bearer at an opera - 11%...that brings the total creepiness factor on the Kravlian/Rector scale to well beyond 114%, which is significant(I'm checking my math).
    I'm with you on this one. I wouldn't want to be alone in a room with this guy. Add the fact that he was a comedian, and that just doubles the scarey. Probably a molestor. Why, just looking at his picture makes me start to molest myself.

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  6. I've been a Franklin Pangborn fan for a good long while now. Not sure if I've ever seen this pic before.

    This photo is a good candidate for a "FACE THE WEEK" reference!

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  7. After watching the video I do remember seeing him. I guess this early young version threw me, and I never knew his name. Even though he's not scary in the movies, I still say this photo is more frightening than Freddy Krueger. It looks like he's wearing makeup, just like the kind of makeup morticians use on corpses.

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