MY GREEN-MAN DREAM: Plagiarism-able school assignment material

I've decided to start helping students who are having trouble with writing assignments. I know how it is sitting up that night before a paper is due, racking your brain trying to think of something you can write about. Kids, I'm happy to say there will be no more need for that. I am going to allow anyone to plagiarize this story as their own.

Get your pencils out, here it is:

MY GREEN-MAN DREAM

By ________________

A while back I had a dream about a green-colored man with a long heavy head. So heavy in fact, he could not stand upright. He stood in a stooped position and looked at me. I remember noticing his shadow; it seemed very important at the time. After I woke up I couldn't remember why the shadow was so important. His head looked like some kind of vegetable with asparagus points on the top. To the best of my ability I drew what I saw in my dream. SEE DIAGRAM BELOW (Write it in all caps like that so the teacher thinks it's important.)

He stood motionless almost like a vegetable yet he did very subtly, almost unnoticeably, turn his head when I walked to a different place so I was never out of his line of sight. I was afraid to look away because I didn't know what he was capable of. I wondered if he'd attack if given the chance.

A football is not a very good gift. (Good finisher-upper.)

Well, that's it. Use it freely and enjoy your easy A! I don't allow you to copy the drawing though. Not because I value it, but because the teacher should see something created by your own hand. That will make it more authentic. If anyone does draw their own version of this guy I'd love to see it. Email me some pics or links!

"BLOOD BROOD" FAKE MOVIE POSTER

Here's a poster for an imaginary movie. It's based on a nightmare I had so I actually have a germ of a plot for this movie too. I wrote out what happened in the nightmare, so if I fill it out a bit I'll have a script to go along with this poster.


Originally I just drew one ghost face, like this.


Then I copied it to make a set of 3, and mirrored it for a reflection. A long time ago I jotted down in a note book how BLOOD spells BrOOD upside down in a mirror, if you use a lower case "r." That seemed like it went well with this idea, so I stuck that in there.


I liked the black and white version above, but I was curious to see how it looked in a bloodier color.


It was difficult for me to decide whether I liked the B&W or bloody version best, so I elected to use a mixture of both colors. I used red for the water they are rising from. That satisfied me because it explained why the word was being reflected. Then I added all the silly text and it was done. This is a clean version of the 1st picture, without all the chips and folds and browning on the edges.

Sometimes I wonder if the fake aging process is a bad thing to do. It's popular nowadays to make things look like they're 50 years old with all the fake computer trickery. I wonder if that's gonna be odd in another 100 years.

People will see a bunch of fake antique images people created from this decade, and they'll look old, but they'll really be old, but they'll look older than they are. Will that be confusing? At that point it'll already look old naturally, but no one will trust it. I wonder if they're create a new word for this phenomena, like "genuine pre-antique" or something like that.

500 POUNDS

This is based on an actual dream I had recently.

NOTE BOOK SKETCHES

Like anyone who enjoys drawing, I've got piles and piles of notebooks with ideas and sketches. I keep one notebook next to my bed. When I wake up from a noteable dream in the middle of the night, I will write it down before I go back to sleep. 

When I get ready for work in the morning, I look to see what important messages I've left myself in the middle of the night. I find "FOAM RUBBER PENCIL LIGHTENER" and a picture of a pencil with an arrow pointing at it.

Most ideas seem like sure-fire million dollar ideas in a middle-of-the-night, half-asleep brain. I'm sure that one did too. But in my awake state, for the life of me, I can't figure out what it meant. If someone can translate it, I will share my million with them. I ain't sharing half though! Ha!

Back in 1999 during the Y2K computer scare, my grandpa said he dreamed he figured out the solution to the upcoming problem. In his dream he narrowed the answer down to one of these two combinations:

1.) WHITE CAT - BLACK CAT - WHITE CAT

OR

2.) BLACK CAT - WHITE CAT - BLACK CAT

He said he couldn't remember which was right, but they could try one and if it didn't work, then do other. He never messed with computers so he wasn't sure how the solution was to be applied.