MAD MONKEY PENCIL DRAWING

I think it would be funny to do someone's portrait, and then after they've posed for it for 15 or 20 minutes, I could secretly slip this out from under the stack of paper and show it to them. He he! But then I'd probably get beat, so maybe it's not a good idea after all. Seems like Old Keith is much wiser than Young Keith used to be. Old Keith knows what things will result in pain.

This is a line drawing done with a black brush pen, and then shaded with black pencil, and highlighted with white pencil.

DRAC-HULA

MR. PEANUT SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS

I found these at a flea market. I've been looking for Mr. Peanut stuff for a while.

My dad didn't like us having Mr. Peanut stuff when we were kids. Now I crave it because it was forbidden for all those years. My dad never liked Mr. Peanut and said he was bad. My mom didn't understand why he hated Mr. Peanut so much and asked his mom. My grandma confessed when my dad was a very young kid back in the 1950s there was a guy dressed up in a Mr. Peanut costume handing out packages of peanuts to the kids.

My overly protective grandma told him, "He's a stranger! Don't take those peanuts!"

Being at such an impressionable age, after that he grew up thinking Mr. Peanut was some kind of evil and demented sicko.

Next to a wiener dog for size comparison.

SPIDER NOTEBOOK SKETCH

THIS MONSTER WAS PRETTY POLITE

I'm sad because you can't see the hump in his (her) back from this front view photo. The hump is what really made it.

DRACUPIRE PENCIL DRAWING Step-By-Step

My guitar project from the last posts is on hold until my hardware arrives in the mail, so in the meantime I'm doodling.

This is how I do most of my colored paper pencil drawings. The only thing that changes is the black. Sometimes I use ink, and sometimes pencil. This particular drawing has both black pencil and ink, in addition to white pencil.

At 1st I very lightly roughed in an ellipse with a nose on it (with a normal erasable No.2 pencil) to show me how much room I needed for the head. Then I inked in this drawing with a BLACK Sakura SumiBrush pen. When I finished inking I erased my rough-penciled ellipse.
CLICK TO ENLARGE

After the inks were completed I used a BLACK Prismacolor pencil to shade the drawing. The Prismacolor pencils have something in them to make them permanent. Any erasing will be met will either minimal or no success. It's best to start light and work it darker as needed. Try to avoid needing an eraser.
CLICK TO ENLARGE

Now I add my highlights with a Prismacolor WHITE pencil. This is the easiest step, and most rewarding. It's what I look forward to each time I make a drawing like this. Less Is Better. It's tempting to go crazy with the white, but you don't need to. Most of your work is already done with the blacks. The white is just for the tops of things. His tooth and eyes got a little extra just because they are supposed to be white.
CLICK TO ENLARGE

Bear in mind these drawings only work on colored paper. Any color is fine. Old paper grocery bags are great if you don't want to go out and buy paper. A nice thing about doing drawings like this is it doesn't require a ton of supplies or setup time. All you need are 2 pencils and some paper. Maybe an ink pen if you desire.

ELECTRIC GUITAR PROJECT part 4

After the glue dried and the clamps were removed, this is what I had.

The fretboard is not exactly the same size as the neck in the tapering width direction. I made the neck a little bit extra wide so I'd have something to work down.

I sanded the neck flush with the fretboard on an edge sander. After bandsaws, edge sanders are my favorite power tools. In this picture you can sight down the neck and see the fretboard is level. I laid a straight edge across it and tapped down any high frets. I found 2 spots still needing attention. Also in this picture you can see the frets were sanded flush with the fretboard.

This ledge at the top is where the nut will sit. I re-rounded the back of the neck after flushing it up with the fretboard.

In this picture I'm in the process of rounding the end of each fret with a file. Otherwise the edges of the frets are sharp like knives. That's bad if you wanted to play a sliding ZOOOOOOOOP! on your strings.

I made fret markers by drilling holes and gluing in dowels. After the glue dried I used a chisel to cut them flush with the fretboard. I made the fret markers smaller than normal just for the sake of being different.

Now I need to impatiently wait for my hardware to arrive in the mail before going any further. Even though it would have been a lot more expensive buying the hardware at a music store, there's something to be said for instant gratification.

ELECTRIC GUITAR PROJECT part 3

Today I'm glued the fretboard to the neck. I left a little flat spot at the top for the nut (about 1/4") and glued the fretboard down starting there. I centered the fretboard in the width of the neck. It's important the fretboard is centered pretty well or later the strings will gradually drift away from the thru-neck. That would be noticeable since the neck has the maple/walnut stripes in it. I'd hate to have to mount the bridge off-center too.

The fretboard is very hard ebony wood, and I don't know if it was necessary or not, but I worried the glue wouldn't absorb as much as in a regular piece of wood, so I scratched up the back of the fretboard with a knife. That hopefully gives the joint more tooth to grip.

The more clamps the better. A few more would have been nice, but this should be fine.

Those are paper towels under it to catch glue drips. Hopefully there aren't any though. I used a wet rag to wipe off any excess glue I could see. If you don't wipe off the glue it will fill the grain pores, and then those spots won't take stain later on. I don't know if I'll stain it or not, but I'm prepared either way now.

ELECTRIC GUITAR PROJECT part 2

One of these will be the neck for my guitar. The more laminations in a piece of wood the stronger and studier it will be. This is alternating maple and walnut. My coworker and I are both building guitars at the same time and we made several necks while we were at it.

I don't like bolting a neck to the body so I'm making a thru-neck which will span the entire length of the guitar. This is both easier to construct and stronger. Right now the necks are extra long, and will be cut to length as needed depending on the body style.
The backs of the necks were shaped round. The bulk of the work was done with a router, and then the final smoothing was done using the drum end of an edge sander.

Then the round was tapered into the flat of the head. I like the way the walnut stripes follow the curve up into the head.

Here's a top and side view. More to come later.

ELECTRIC GUITAR PROJECT part 1

For a while I've had some guitar parts laying around. I'm finally getting around to making an electric guitar. I'll document the steps as much as I can. This is going to get done a little at a time. I'm still waiting on some hardware I bought from ebay. The prices were good but I suspect the wait is going to be painful. I ordered 6 tuning keys ($8 incuding shipping) and a tune-o-matic style bridge ($6 including shipping.) They're being shipped from the other side of the planet.

The 1st thing I'm working on is the fretboard. Each fret is roughly measured and cut a little bit long.

The fretboard I got was already slotted but I have to put my own frets in the slots. If you are thinking about making a guitar I recommend you find an already-fretted fretboard. This is the toughest part of the entire project.

There is a slight arch in the fretboard. I am pre-bending my frets to match the arch of the fretboard. If I don't then the frets tend to seesaw back and forth as I tap in each end, rather than seating themselves properly. These frets are very thick. If I used smaller frets I don't believe it would be as big of a problem.

With a bandsaw I cut out an arch in a piece of wood to match the fretboard's arch. This is my tapping block. I drive each fret in the same way, by laying the block on the fret and driving it in with a mallet.
Each time I drive in a fret I check it closely and make sure it's driven in as tight as possible. A piece of paper should not be able to slide under it. If one fret is higher or lower than the rest it will cause the strings to buzz on undesired frets.

To fix that problem the frets must be filled level and then the newly flattened fret tops must be re-rounded, if that makes any sense. In other words, it's best to just get them right the first time. I went over them 3 or 4 times after I thought I was finished, and kept finding new spots when they could be driven in more.

DAGNABIT! This was not expected. The frets were so fat they bowed the fretboard by wedging it a smidgen at a time over the length of the fretboard. I don't believe it's gonna be a problem because it flexes right back flat again with very little effort. Once it's glued down onto the neck it should be fine.

AMISH + SALAMI =...

MATH IS HARD part 2

This is another version of the last post, which proves math is hard. I can't figure out how to type the line over the 9 to make "POINT NINE REPEATING" so I will write it like this: .999999.....

-------
(If I start with this)

X = .99999....
-------
(And then I multiply each side by 10)

10X = 9.99999....
-------
(Since X = .999999... that's how much I will subtract from each side to reduce)

9X = 9
-------
(Now I divide each side by 9 to reduce again)

X = 1
------------

But earlier X = .9999....

So does this prove 1 = .999999......?

I wish I'd have known about this in school so I could have explained the futility of learning math. That would have saved a lot of time. Maybe my teacher would have said, "Yes, go out and play until we fix math. No sense in teaching it until we get all the bugs worked out."

MATH IS HARD

Does this make sense?

1/3 = .3333333....


The what's up with this?

1/3 = .3333333....
1/3 = .3333333....
+ 1/3 = .3333333....
------------------------
1 = .9999999....

If you were using a ruler to measure something then .9 REPEATING is basically one. Technically it's not really equal though, right?

NEW ENDING FOR THE WIZARD OF OZ

Years ago I made up a new ending for The Wizard of Oz. The story happens just as it did in the original movie - up until the very end where the Wizard is giving them what they want: courage, a brain, a heart, and the ability to go home.

My ultimate wish is to find perfect look-alike actors and build the set just like in the movie, and film this and do some splice trickery to the end of the real movie. Then observe people's reactions while watching it. I guess that would be fun. Maybe after they sat through the bulk of the movie waiting for the happy payoff and then they see this I'd feel kinda guilty.
----------------------------------------------------------

WIZARD
(to Tinman)
My dear friend, do you not know
you've always possessed the ability
to have what you want?

TINMAN
Huh?

WIZARD
(pointing at the axe in
the Tinman's hands)
It is there. Your axe.

TINMAN
My axe?

SCARECROW
His axe is a heart?

WIZARD
No, but it is a tool for acquiring
a heart.

LION
W..W..We don't understand.

DORTHY
That's right, Mister Wizard. We
really don't understand at all.

WIZARD
Dorthy, my child, you are a very
brave girl.

DORTHY
Oh thank you, Sir. That's just
what Auntie Em always says. She
says I've always been a very
brave girl.

WIZARD
Yes, and do you know the reason you
are so brave?

DORTHY
I . . . I . . . No, I don't know
why. I guess I just am. That's
all.

WIZARD
You are brave because you have
backbone! . . . Good strong
backbone!

The Wizard turns to the Lion.

LION
Gulp!

WIZARD
Mister Lion, you wish to be brave.
Do you not?

LION
Y..Yes sir.

WIZARD
And why is Dorthy so brave?

LION
S..S..She has backbone?

WIZARD
Correct! That is correct, indeed,
my good Sir. So what do you think
it is you need?

LION
I..I..I..uh, I--

SCARECROW
--He needs a backbone!

WIZARD
That is right, Mister Scarecrow!
Very good!

The Scarecrow beams with pride.

WIZARD
Just as you need a brain, and the
Tinman here needs a heart.

TINMAN
So . . . How does my axe have
anything to do with all this?

WIZARD
(thoughtful pause)
Well, my friends, Let me ask Dorthy
one last question.

DORTHY
(puzzled)
Okay.

WIZARD
Dorthy, what is it you want? Why
did you come here? What do you
wish of me, my child?

DORTHY
To go home! Oh, Mister Wizard, I
want to go home! I want ever so
much to go home!

WIZARD
And home you shall go.
(to the Tinman)
Tinman? I think you know what to
do.

TINMAN
(confused)
I - I really don't, sir.

WIZARD
Your axe. Use it. It is the
answer to everything. Send her
home. Send Dorthy home . . . to
the Promised Land!

The Tinman gets a crazed, yet fearful look in his eyes.

DORTHY
What do you mean? Mister Wizard!
What are you saying?!

SCARECROW
She has a brain! Do it, Tinman!
Do it!

LION
I want her backbone!

TINMAN
(approaching Dorthy)
Dorthy, I . . . It's something I
must do.

DORTHY
What?! No! Stop! Don't come any
closer!

The Lion and Scarecrow begin closing in on Dorthy, along with
the Tinman.

SCARECROW
Dorthy, be calm. This is something
that's good for everybody. Just
relax.

LION
Yeah, Dorthy, just relax.

DORTHY
NO! NO! Stay back! What is
happening?! Toto, sic! Sic, Toto!

Toto jumps frantically to bite at the Lion.

The Tinman raises the axe over his head.

TINMAN
Dorthy, I'm sorry. I need your
heart.

WIZARD
(grinning)
Do it! Do it, my boy!

The Lion and the Scarecrow are watching in anticipatory joy.

DORTHY
No! No! No!

The Tinman swings the axe, and it hits Dorthy directly in the
side of the neck.

Dorthy's eyes glaze over and she falls to the ground. The
axe is affixed to her neck, and it stays there as she falls,
and her body settles into a still position.

The Tinman puts his foot on Dorthy's shoulder, and pries the
axe back out of her neck. It makes a wet, chunky sound as it
finally tears loose.

He swings it again, at her chest this time.

The Tinman reaches down and pulls open the freshly-made chest
wound, and puts his cold, metal hand inside.

The Tinman pulls out her heart, and stands up. He opens a
door in his chest, and slings the heart inside.

TINMAN
I'm so happy for Dorthy.

SCARECROW
Yes, she's home now.

TINMAN
Hey, I just realized, I feel love
for Dorthy! I can love! It must
be the new heart!

LION
Sweet Dorthy.

WIZARD
Well, Tinman, you aren't the only
one who needed something, are you
now?

TINMAN
Oh, Right.
(to the Lion and
Scarecrow)
Roll'er over boys.

The Scarecrow and Lion roll Dorthy's limp, heartless body
over, so it is face down.

With the first swing of the axe, the Tinman cuts off the top
of her skull. A fresh glistening pink brain is exposed.

With the second swing, the Tinman opens up her back, exposing
her juicy backbone. He makes a few more whacks to open the
full length of the spine.

TINMAN
Well, have at it, boys!

The Scarecrow and the Lion dive in.

The Scarecrow digs her brains out, and begins eating them.
His emotionless eyes stare blankly into the camera, as a
small bit of brain-pulp drops from his lip.

The Lion stands on Dorthy as he grabs her spine. With a
couple firm and forceful yanks, he manages to tug it loose.

The Lion devours the spine slowly. It is very gristly, and
crunchy.

The Lion and Scarecrow stand up, and join the Tinman.

The Lion stares at Dorthy's disgusting corpse.

LION
You know, normally, the sight of
something like that would terrify
me. But now it doesn't bother me.

WIZARD
You're brave now. See? You have a
backbone. I'm very proud of you
all.

SCARECROW
Proud. Adjective. Definition one.
A feeling of self-respect or
pleasure in something by which
you measure you self-worth; or
being a reason for pride.
Definition two. Having or
displaying great dignity or
nobility.

The Scarecrow looks very happily surprised with himself.

WIZARD
(wide-eyed surprise)
Well done, my brainy friend!

LION
Wow!

TINMAN
That was amazing!

The Lion begins staring at the Wizard. The Wizard senses the
strange stare.

LION
(talking to Tinman, while
staring at the Wizard)
Hey, let me borrow your axe. I'd
kind'a like to have some brains
like that, myself!

WIZARD
Gulp!

TINMAN
Heck, if you're gonna open him up
too, I think all three of us could
benefit.

SCARECROW
Yes, I want to love.

The Wizard begins backing up slowly, and then turns to run.

WIZARD
AAAA!!!

The Scarecrow, Tinman, and Lion chase the Wizard down the
long emerald green hallway, and out of sight.

Toto stays behind and laps up the blood of Dorthy.

FADE OUT.

THE END.

(Credits)

POETRY BY KW MONSTER

I hope these are entertaining. As always, I made these poems with hopes of turning them into songs later on down the line. They aren't very long, but add in guitar solo, and a section of La-la-las, and then repeat the verse and Presto! Full length song!

-APPLE-
I'll take your Adam's apple
And the Apple of your eye
I'll mix them both together
And have an apple pie

-ULTIMATE OLYMPIC CHAMPION-
I've got swimmer's ear
I've got tennis elbow
I've got athlete's foot
I am the ultimate olympic champion

-99 BOTTLES-
99 bottles of nitroglycerine on the wall
99 bottles of nitroglycerine
If one of those bottles should happen to fall
No more bottles of nitroglycerine on the wall

IF YOU DON'T HATE PAUL REISER AFTER SEEING THIS PICTURE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU

I guess one reason I hate him is for the fact that he thinks everyone's dumb enough to fall for his fake hair.

AAAND!!! If you are gonna give yourself fake hair, why do it this way? Why not give yourself a nice human style?

THE SAD LITTLE ZOMBIE

Here's a poem I wrote. Maybe someday I'll put it to music.

-THE SAD LITTLE ZOMBIE-

The sad little zombie,
He's a sad little guy.
His mama yelled at him.
Now he wants to cry.

She been in the kitchen,
Cooking all day.
Working fingers to the bone,
To put food on his plate.

It's a big juicy head
With noodles and beets.
The eyes are fried crispy,
And it still has it's teeth.

"It sure looks delicous,"
He cried to his ma,
"It's crispy and juicy,
And not very raw."

"Then why don't you eat?"
She mournfully said
"I worked and I slaved
And now I'm so dead."

"Don't feel bad mama.
You're not a bad chef,
But if I eat one more bite,
I'm gonna heft.

My appetite was spoiled,
I must admit.
For my pals and I
have been snacking a bit.

Earlier today,
while we were outside,
A school bus turned over,
And all the kids died."

His mother's face changed
As she listened a while.
Her frown dropped away,
Revealling a smile.

"Stop Right there, Honey.
No need to explain.
If I'd been there with you
I'd do the same.

When opportunities arise
Be resourceful and wise.
Take advantage of blessings
Or they'll go to the flies.

I've taught you well.
You didn't waste all that meat.
Poor zombies in China
Have nothing to eat.

You made a sunny day
From dreary old cloud.
I'm not mad at you.
In fact, I'm so proud."

I HATE PAUL REISER

I've hated Paul Reiser for about 2 decades now. I can't really put my finger on what I hate so much about him. I've seen his shows and comedy routines on tv, and they were okay; nothing really hateable. I can't figure it out. I just hate him. It's possibly based on his looks, more specifically his hair. Maybe.

I know it's wrong to hate people, especially when there's no real reason to hate them, but if I were stranded on the side of the road and he came along and fixed my car and gave me some money, I'd still hate him.

Also when I tell people I hate him, they usually say, "You know, I've never really thought about it before, but now that you mention it, I believe I hate Paul Reiser too."

ANOTHER SONG AND MORE ANIMATION

Some of this animation was already posted before, but not all of it. There's a new song here too. I have about 3 seconds of footage on my motorcycle. I rode it for years, and that's the only picture or video I have of it. It was a Yamaha Maxim XJ 650. I think it was a 1981 or 1982 model. It had a drive shaft instead of a chain. I never had a lick of trouble out of if and I regret selling it.

I sold it because when I moved to my current home I didn't have a garage to keep it out of the weather. After I sold it I used the money to build a garage. Then I didn't have a bike to keep in it. What a gyp!

My brother and I accidentally discovered something on the guitar solo in this recording. Out of laziness we didn't want to plug in some more wires and set up the electric guitar for the solo, so we held a microphone right next to the strings on the electric, about 2 inches from the pick action. An echo effect was added. We thought it sounded like an early Beatles guitar. (Just the solo guitar in the middle, not the rhythm. )

REEEEEALLY HUNGRY ELEPHANT

You know how they say "There is no wrong way to eat a Reese's" in the commercials? What if it were like this? I bet this would be considered a wrong way.

SONG and CLAY ANIMATION

Here's an old clay animation I made in the 1980s when I was 13. It stars my brother Kevin as the boy, and my mom as The Mom. For a kid not yet 7 years old I felt like Kevin did a darned good acting job. My mom went the vaudeville route. After the 1st couple animated sequences in this video I learned to keep my lamp in the same place for each frame, which cut down considerably on the blinking.

The song was written and recorded 7 or 8 years ago. The song is longer but It fades out early to match the length of the video. I looked through my songs and this was the closest to the length of that video. Kevin (who is the boy in the video) is playing bass on this song. The song is about being lazy and reveling in it.

MY NIECE MIMI'S POOPING GERBIL DRAWING

Mimi is my brother's daughter. She's 5 years old. When I saw this drawing my heart became filled with joy. Notice how the final poo has a shiny glowing aura? That's classy! You can see more of Mimi's art at her mom's blog by clicking on the image, or by clicking HERE.

DISTURBING . . . BUT TRUE!

BATTLING CLAY - animation

This is one of many clay battles which occurred on my back patio when I was in high school. One person could make these movies alone but it was always more fun when my cousin David and my brother Kevin were involved. Usually the projects would last for as long as they kept our interest. When we lost interest, we would kill all the clay guys off and go watch cartoons or ride our bikes.



They took a long time to make but we never got bored with it. Sometimes you could actually see the sun setting in the backgrounds of animations that only lasted about 20 seconds.

The flashing gun blasts in this movie were created by taking a needle and actually scratching the frames of film. The clay guy's gun shoulder was animated to jerk back and forth, and then when the film was developed I looked at the tiny pictures on the film and did my best to scratch them in the right places. Scratching the film was my own original idea, but later I read in magazines other people were also doing it.

For as long as they took us to make, we expected our movies must last for hours and hours. It took about 2 weeks of waiting for the film to be developed. When we finally got the film back and got to watch our movies it was both thrilling and heartbreaking at the same time. It was fun to actually see the things moving around, but it crushed our spirits to learn all the work we did amounted to no more than a few minutes of screen time. It never failed, one of us would always say, "That's it? I seem to remember there being more."

POPSICLE STICK MAN STOP-MOTION ANIMATION

Here's another animation from back in my high school days. The jointed man was made with popsicle sticks, dowel rods, and wooden macrame' balls. I used white thumb tacks for his eyes, and yarn for hair. I used blobs of clay to stick him to the ground in the shots where he's off balance. I still have this guy and he's held up very well.

This particular stop-motion animation was quite frustrating at the time because my spotlight bulb burned out and a new one was $50 and I couldn't afford it on my $1-a-week allowance. I found this cheap $10 flash gizmo I could plug into the camera and it was supposed to flash each time I took a picture. It didn't. It would only flash when it felt like it. Maybe 60% of the time it would cooperate.

The nice thing about the old lamp was I could just leave it on and not worry about it anymore. This new flash thing was a horrible piece of junk. I think after this experience I didn't mess with the movie camera too much anymore.



Now with digital cameras it seems fun again. There are downloadable freeware programs which automatically string consecutive photos together into an MPG or AVI. Windows Movie Maker will do it, but the frame speed won't go any less than 1/8th of a second per frame. Ideally it should be 1/24th of a second or things look jerky.

Using a digital camera would give a much clearer picture and better colors. These movies I made in the 80s are all washed out and scratchy. That being said, I suspect after I made a movie with a digital camera I'd be tempted to change it to black and white and add artificial scratches.

MEMPHIS WRESTLING

As a kid I loved Championship Wrestling out of Memphis. My grandpa got me hooked on it. A lot of the greats started there, like Jerry "the King" Lawler, and Jimmy Hart. It was hosted by Lance Russell and Dave Brown. It was on every Saturday right after cartoons, and I never missed it.

It's hard to explain why it was so much more fun to me than the wrestling they show nowadays. They wouldn't do as much ring wrestling as they would street brawling in the parking lots and backstage, or during interviews. You could always count on something going impossibly haywire and walls falling down and desks getting destroyed, and blood blood flowing.

Watch this clip to get an idea of how things always seemed to go. It would usually start out civil and normal, but that never lasted. It would always eventually go wrong and then get worse and worse and WORSE. And just when it seemed like it couldn't get any worse, it got more worser.

BIG EAR SIGNAL

Here's an illustration for an album written and recorded by Tom Meigs. By day he writes and records music for video games. By night he fights crime incognito, and now he's gone and recorded an album just for the heck of it.

These songs are very reminiscent of the soundtracks to old sci fi movies from the 70s. There are a lot of old vintage Moog type synthesizers and space sounds mixed all through it. It's very entertaining, and for me, even a little therapeutic and comforting in the form of nostalgia. I like to let it play in while I draw. It's available on Amazon and they have samples for listening.



Here's the original uncolored ink drawing.

DESTROYER ROBOT

This was created on the computer pretty much the same way it would be created in 3 dimensions. I drew one block first. I made a block shaded 3 different tones on 3 different sides. After that the bulk of the drawing was finished.

I copied that block and started stacking pieces together the same way I'd stack real blocks together. There are a few non-block elements but it's mostly the same block either squashed or stretched.

MEAN BABY animation

I guess this is kind of old now. It was made back in the 90s. If you look at the brown smear in the picture on the wall that's my signature, "KS."

STRANGE REOCCURRING DOG INCIDENT

For the longest time I was buying pillows for Lucy's bed. After about a week they would get stinky. Mei had the idea of using old clothes instead of buying pillows over and over.

This happens a lot. Lucy will somehow manage to squeeze into a sleeve or a pant leg or any opening she can find and get trapped in it. I think digging and routing is a dachshund trait. These are Mei's old pants. Lucy calmly accepts her commonly occurring pant leg entrapment and pays no mind to it. She just inchworms her way over to her bowl to eat, and then inchworms her way back to her bed.

It impresses me because she went in through the waist opening, and crawled all the way down the length of the leg, and out the foot opening. Then once her front feet were out there was nothing more for her to grip against, so that's where they settled. Sometimes I hear rustling sounds coming from her bed. I guess this is what's going on.

After I took some pictures I went ahead and cut her loose.

SKETCHBOOK PAPER-WASTIN'

More paper-wastin' here. I'm noticing when I'm not drawing Frankensteins or monkeys, I like drawing cavemen. I'm not sure if I like the cavemen themselves or the crude and primitive dinosaur-riddled jungle atmosphere they exist in.

They are enjoyable to draw though. You can get reeeeeal ugly with them, and the clothing is pretty fun too. Also I've always liked drawing ugly big feet and knobby toes. Characters with shoes deprive me of that joy.

GROG AND GROG

Welcome to Running Joke city! Maybe what was important to cavemen was the complete opposite of what is important to us nowadays. Maybe if they needed to hunt and kill to survive different things would have been considered to be ideal physical features.

I like doing these template-style comics. They could go on forever! But relax. I won't put anyone through that. Four is enough.

Grog and Grog #1


Grog and Grog #2


Grog and Grog #3


Grog and Grog #4

AMERICAN DANCE CRAZE

My friend Matt Hawes who I've known since the mid 1980s has a show on local public access called The Happy Show. He does a lot of silly, fun stuff with reoccurring characters. Sometimes he will dig out old song recordings I did back in the good ol' days, and fancy them up with video footage. In this particular case he even built an imaginary dance show around the song. Matt is playing all the characters in the video. He's quite a ham in front of a camera. As a side note he also draws very well, and owns his own comic book shop here in town.

FORBIDDEN LOVE OF FRANKENSTEIN (step by step)

First I made an ink drawing of Frankenstein in a wistful pose, and scanned it into the compooter. I guess it could also be used at an annoyed pose.


Then I added a layer of graytone shading.


And then I added a layer of color.


And then a background tone. I slide the hue controller lever on the skin tone to make it more putrid. Also I dulled down the color of the jacket so it wasn't so cheery. I added a faint drop shadow to make him pop out a bit.


And lastly I added a daisy I found on the internet. I mirrored and rotated it and changed the color and proportion. That way it's not the same as the original anymore. I don't know if that's important but it makes me feel better. What I probably should have done was draw a daisy. But that's for non-lazy suckas! Depending on the shape of your monitor the picture could possibly be used as a wallpaper.

Happy post Easter!

FRANKENPENCIL

I found a sketchpad tucked away in a pile of books and this drawing was in it. I have no memory whatsoever of doing it.

Hope everyone had a Good Friday, and has a good Easter. Remember, eggs are high in cholesterol and can kill you.

JONATHAN JIGGS HOMEMADE SONG VIDEO

I was just kidding about that last post. April Fools.

Here's a video I made with my brother back in the good ol' days. Maybe the late 80s or early 90s.

All the pieces are cut out of paper and controlled by hand off-screen. It seemed like an easy and fun project before I started but turned into an enormous amount of work. I surprised at the huge stack of paper parts I had when I'd finished.

My brother Kevin would aim the camera on the fly and do his best to keep my hands out of the frame. Sometimes though I'd reach in too far. I guess in the end it doesn't really matter if the hands are visible. It's not like I'd be fooling anyone anyway.

We didn't have computer video editing equipment back then so I filmed all the shots separately and edited them together by bouncing back and forth on 2 VCRs. You end up having to do some guesswork and wishing and hoping it will time out right in the end.



We didn't have a real video camera back then. Kevin had a kid's camcorder which filmed onto standard audio cassette tapes. It was the Fisher-Price PXL-2000. I think that meant it had a total of 2000 pixels. The video is a little blurry so I'll explain the plot.

There are 2 starving guys stranded on a life raft. They kill and eat a bird to survive. They don't realize the bird ate some fish which were swimming in toxic waste, so the bird meat kills them. The end.

The video doesn't really have anything to do with the song. The song is about a guy named Jonathan Jiggs whose plane crash lands on an island. While there he meets and island girl who he then falls in love with. Later he learns she is a cannibal when she eats his ear. He has to put her down and buries her by a pineapple tree.

Her corpse fertilizes the pineapple tree and makes the pineapples grow healthy. Now when he drinks his pineapple juice he likens it to kissing her. See? A love story!

MY LAST POST

Blogger says I am out of space so I guess that's the end of this blog. They said I was abusing the system with "larger than normal" picture files. I don't understand because I see other people with lots of posted pictures and they don't seem to get flack over it.

































April Fools!