Tuesday, August 24, 2010

MELBA SNARCH #1 color, and reworked

Something bugged me about the flow of this cartoon I posted previously so I rearranged the panels and I like it better now.

I didn't want it to focus on her ugliness as much as her sadness in not qualifying for such a horrible job. Now you can see her joy AFTER finding the job regardless of what it would entail. There! By me explaining the punchline I bet it's waaay funnier now, huh?

B & W:

4 comments:

  1. In my very very very humble opinion, I think the first version works better.
    Placing her first reaction before the panel of the ad you create a sense of expectancy to the reader: (You know, he wonders what's going up? what's she reading? why is she reacting so? blah blah blah)
    Besides, in your previous version it's surprising to see how aware is she of her ugliness, being the reaction immediate to the reading.
    Hope this make sense!
    I really love the color though.

    Ps.- I've said now that's just a mindless opinion :)

    Cheers, my friend!

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  2. Gabriel, thanks for the ideas and thoughts! That's much appreciated. I see what you mean when you explain it like that. I guess I was wanting to make sure it was clear she was happy AFTER reading about the job, and not caring that it wad deadly, and only being upset when she realized she wasn't qualified. I didn't want it to look like the deadliness of the job is what upset her. Now that you say what you say though, I see what you mean. Maybe i'll leave it for a few months and come back to it fresh and see if I have any breakthroughs.

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  3. Kieth, you have serious self esteem issues. Get help soon. I've become addicted to your sites and I don't need you to be found dagling from a shower curtain. Remember, YOU ARE NOT MELBA!... BTW I agree with Gabe.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha! You always know the right things to say. sniff...

    I've recently thought of the solution for this comic if I ever get around to redoing it. I'll make the newspaper view floating above her head in a thought balloon in the same panel. That will solve everything. Then the readers will know her reactions are happening as she reads each line.

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