THE ZEPHYR (He who walks the winds) COMIC

Move over all you other heroes! A new hero is in town! As the cover promises, all 22 pages:

STRANGE GIRL WEIGHT-LIFTER

This is one of the weirder Youtube videos I've seen. It's one that sticks in my mind days after I've seen it. Now I'm posting it here because I like thinking I'm not the only one had to see it. It's old but I suspect not everyone in the world has seen it yet.

This girl makes the weirdest mouth noises while trying to lift her weights, and strains so hard she pees on the floor. Then she smears it with her shoe to hide the evidence even though she did it on camera. There's something about the way she nonchalantly smears it which makes me think it happens to her a lot, and it's no big deal. I think if she's straining THAT hard she's probably tearing something up on the inside.

PENCIL DRAWINGS AGAIN?!

Here are some pencil drawings from about a decade ago. It doesn't seem that long ago, but that's enough time I could have had a kid and it would be old enough to smart-mouth me by now.

What if the kid was like me when I was 10? Yikes. This very moment I could be saying things like, "That dadblasted kid! I oughta slap it!"

That kid would be saying things like, "I didn't ask to be born!"

I'd have to take that kid's allowance away and send him out to do yard work on Saturday morning during cartoons.

OLD DRAWINGS FROM BACK IN THE DAY

I went to high school with Matt Hawes and he and I used to work on comic projects together. Now he owns a comic shop here in town, and he does a weekly public access tv show called The Happy Show. He sent me these drawings the other day. I have no memory of working on most of them. I do remember a couple, but some of them... if someone said I had anything to do with them I'd think they were mistaken. I have absolutely zero recollection.

Almost all were penciled by me and inked by Matt. The very last one was penciled by Matt and inked by me. I feel like his inks made my pencils look a lot better than they were supposed to look.

This is the only one I inked:

SINISTER WINSTON #3

Here's my newest Sinister Winston comic. It's a two-pager. Look for the guest cameo of Melba Snarch. You can see the older Sinister Winston comics by clicking HERE.

I wonder if this comic will make sense in the very near future when there are no more pay phones.

HOMEMADE BIRTHDAY CARD

Several years back my friend Mike's wife was having a birthday so I made this card for her. At the time I think they had 3 cats. I don't remember if she liked this card or not. When I think back about it, no matter what nice thing she might have said to me, I suspect secretly she didn't like it.


This image is reasonably high res so you can print one of your very own. Just fold it in half horizontally and then in half again vertically to make a card shape. Be careful to align Mike's mouth properly with the cat's pooper when you fold it up. After that you need to cut out Mike's mouth so the cat's pooper shows through. Tada! A card any wife would love!

See it in action here:

ZOMBIE RABBIT AWARD

This is the 1st ever award I've received on this blog and I proudly and happily accept it. It represents my love of all things monstery and gross and zombie-ish. It was presented to me by a nice guy named Rogue Evolent, who loves monsters too.
I believe the proper procedure is for me to now present this award to another blog where zombies and icky stuff are glamorized. My friend Bob Canada draws lots of boogery, drippy, stinky monsters too, so I give it to him.

HOMEMADE ANNIVERSARY CARD

Here's an anniversary card I made for my parents several years ago. I'm including a high res JPG version so you can make your own if you wish. It's guaranteed to stir up feelings of love to all who receive it. Try it! Give one to your wife! Be prepared to see her cry joyous tears!

First you need to put a horizontal fold across the middle (the drawings should face outward), and then put a vertical fold in the middle of that to create a card format.

You'll need to take care in positioning the ringed fingers on the cover so they align properly with the handcuffed arms on the inside. Then you'll need to cut 2 holes so the handcuffs show through and double as wedding rings. If you look closely you'll see faint circular patterns where the holes should be cut.

Here it is in action:

HORRIBLE LOST BEATLES RECORDING

BREAKING NEWS! This just in. Here is a very rare and impossible-to-find Beatles track from 1963. It's an early outtake of their classic song "This Boy." Although you heard it here first, you probably won't thank me. Remember though, I'm just the messenger. Do not hate me for being the bearer of bad news.

PENCIL DRAWINGS AGAIN

These are old drawings. I don't think I've posted them before. If you did see them, sorry you had to see them again. The 1st one is based on an actual person I saw here in Evansville Indiana. If you are from Evansville and you look like this guy, what I meant to say was it's based on a guy I saw in Kentucky.

These were drawn in black ink first, and then white pencil highlights were added.

Pig with ribbed teeth.

MELBA SNARCH #1 color, and reworked

Something bugged me about the flow of this cartoon I posted previously so I rearranged the panels and I like it better now.

I didn't want it to focus on her ugliness as much as her sadness in not qualifying for such a horrible job. Now you can see her joy AFTER finding the job regardless of what it would entail. There! By me explaining the punchline I bet it's waaay funnier now, huh?

B & W:

VISITOR KANE

I was digging through old note books and found this sketch. I remember I wanted to name him Visitor Kane. He was supposed to be from another planet and he had a belt with little electronic gizmos all over it. He lived in a light house and no one ever saw his real face. I don't know if was supposed to be a hero or a villain.

His name came from a misheard lyric in a Jimi Hendrix song. One of his songs is called "1983 - A Merman I Should Turn to Be." It tells a story sci-fi story about the Earth's surface being destroyed by UFOs and everyone hopping into submarines and living under the sea.

I thought in one part he was singing "Visitor Kane" and thought that was great name. It conjured up this character in my imagination. Later I found out he was singing "Grace of the King" and I just didn't listen well enough. Either that or Jimi needs to enunciate a little better.

I DIDN'T THINK I LIKED THE WIGGLES UNTIL I SAW THIS

I realize I'm pretty late in the game, but this is my 1st exposure to the Wiggles. My nephew loves them and I wanted to see what all the hubbub was about. Yikes! Now I know.

MOST USELESS MACHINE EVER

There are a ton of these on Youtube, so I'm not sure if I've found the most useless one or not. I guess if you look around online you could probably find instructions to make them. I'd kind of like to have one for myself.

MELBA SNARCH #1

Here's the 1st Melba Snarch comic. I don't really have any plans or ideas for others, but I never planned on doing more than one of any of the other comics either, so who knows. It's nice to have a little arsenal of characters, just in case.

This was the original version, but I worried it insulted the reader by making things too obvious. It's difficult to say if there's a difference between clarity and obviousness.

BLOOD COUNT #8

Episode #8 of the dastardly Blood Count. Check out the old ones by clicking HERE.

It took me forever to think up a garlic-related comic for some reason. I've been trying to come up with one ever since the 1st comic. I kept trying to think of a way for the Blood Count to accidentally eat some Italian food himself, but nothing seemed plausible. Yesterday I realized it wouldn't necessarily have to be him who eats it.

BLOOD COUNT #7

This is another one of those things that are only cute when you're a kid.

Check out the other Blood Count comics by clicking HERE.

DR BLOTZ: SCIENCE EXPERT, AND BRISBANE #3

Here's the 3rd installment of Dr. Blotz: Science Expert, and Brisbane. It's a 2-pager. You can see the previous two comics by clicking HERE.




This is how I usually make my comics these days. I like drawing all the pieces how ever I can squeeze them onto a page. Then on the computer I can chop them out and arrange them. I add the words and panel boxes on the computer too, because it looks better. If you look closely you might see little differences in the finished version above.


Some of the poses, like the slapping and the face-to-face-talk were borrowed from the previous comics. Is that cheating? I didn't want to redraw those same poses. Also maybe it helps keep the characters looking consistent. See? It's good to cheat. I used the same cliff drawing in each panel. Sometimes I flipped it to give it some variety.

I drew the wind lines on the computer instead of trying to do them with a pen and a ruler. Seems like every time I do that the ink smears. Also I wanted the lines to taper.

DR BLOTZ: SCIENCE EXPERT, AND BRISBANE #2

Here's the 2nd installment of the ongoing saga of a greatly accomplished science expert. Click HERE to see the 1st one.

DROP THE MONEY

Sometimes ideas won't work in comics since the spelling of the words would give away the joke. This particular idea ONLY works in comics.

BIG LOTS NEEDS TO BE MORE SELECTIVE

I find the flavor to be highly offensive.

And they spelled "Pooping Candy" wrong.

TOM ATKINS SHIRT

My new "best shirt in my closet." I don't even know if I wanna wear it and mess it up. Maybe I'll just wear it on very special occasions, like weddings or job interviews.



I got it from the man himself. Even if you don't know him by name you would probably recognize his face.

Everyone else was doing it, so I did it. Now I regret it.

500 POUNDS

This is based on an actual dream I had recently.