Wednesday, January 27, 2010

EVIL PRANK (for use at Chinese restaurant)

Here's an evil prank idea I've tried and tested and am happy to report it works great. I scanned fortune cookie messages and replaced the nice fortunes with sinister messages. Prepare these evil fortune cookie messages before your next visit to a Chinese restaurant.

Print this image full scale. Do not scale the image to fit on the page. It's very important it's printed FULL SCALE!

Carefully trim out these messages as indicated by the crop marks.

Fold in half to simulate the crimp made by fortune cookie.

STEP 4 (Optional)
To make it even more authentic, pinch the 2 outside edges a little bit in their centers to simulate the secondary crimp made by the cookie.

At the end of your meal, before they give you your fortune cookie, secretly remove one of these evil messages from your wallet and place it in your palm as indicated by this picture. As you open your cookie right in front of your waiter or waitress, you can very easily pretend you are pulling this evil message out of your cookie.

Then the rest is up to you. You must act surprised as you show your waiter or waitress. You can not laugh or smile.


  1. This is a fantastic and fun (well, not for the waiter, owner, Tong Clan that will target me and my guests, or Yakuza) gag for me and my like minded ne'er do wells Keith! Thanks.
    You're always one step ahead of me in hi-jinx and monkey shines...that's why I love your blog :)

  2. I wrote a scene for a movie a couple years ago (which I later edited out), in which the main Male character is wooing the main Female and does this exact same thing but takes it a step further. He uses tweezers to extract the real messages, then inserts his ROMANTIC message (something like: 'You will fall in Love with the next man who shares noodles with you') and then re-seals the cookie in the plastic package, planting a few in the bag when he picks up Chinese take-out for them to share at her apartment. The funny part of the scene was him writing all the 'fake' fortunes at his typewriter. Never fear; I will squeeze this scene into one of my next comedies !

  3. KW: You are evil. Pure evil.

    Lysdexicuss: I just saw the same thing done in an episode of I Spy. (first season)! Kelly (Robert Culp), is seen in one scene extracting real fortunes from the cookies, stuffing them with fake ones like: "You will fall in love with a tall tennis player", etc.(Culp played a professional tennis player turned spy in the series). He didn't go as far was to reseal the cookie back in the plastic wrap, though. That would truly indicate a Machiavellian cunning. Both you and KW are pure evil. -- Mykal

  4. PURE GENIUS! this sounds exactly like something i wished i had come up with, or better yet followed through with.

  5. R/E- Yikes! I didn't think about the mafia getting involved! That would spoil everything.

    Lysdexicuss- You are sneaky! I respect that! I'd love to see this show up in your screenplay.

    Mykal- I take that as a compliment! Thanks sir!

    Brad- I suspect there are many evil tricks and pranks rolling around in your cabeza! Ha ha!

    Willy- Thanks for the visit and the comment!

    If you guys try this trick, let me know the results. Or maybe I can read about them in the news.

  6. Ha! This is hilarious! You have to tell us what your message said! And what the waiter/waitress did!

    Those are funny messages. The real trick is to get one inside...I think I'll just sell my own bad fortune there a company yhat does that already? Could make a bundle...

    "What does your fortune say, dear?"
    "Eat shit and die!"
    "I beg your pardon!"

    can't avoid the hilarity!

  7. He he! I tried it at 2 or 3 places so far. The FREE DINNER was the best. They acted very surprised and almost willing to give me a free dinner until i confessed.


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